Youth Probation/City of Calgary
Calgary Board of Education
Mennonite Central Committee
John Howard Society
Calgary Family Services
Calgary Police Service
September 2000

“After being involved in the conference and hearing the impact, I have learned far more than any other experience in my life.” J.M.

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  • Personal impacts at conferences

  • Reflection on conferencing
    • A Difficult Lesson to Learn by J.T.M.
    This letter was submitted from a young person who participated in a conference in July. “It is an apology to those deeply affected by my mistakes and to educate other teenagers through my experience.”

    I was involved in an altercation that occurred on the evening of March fourth within the Sundance community. First and foremost I must admit my actions that night were wrong and with no reason or justification. I was driving home with some friends when a snowball hit our car. For some reason we turned around and confronted four others on the side of a street. By the time the smoke cleared I was charged with assault. What started out as a bullheaded response, turned into a life altering experience. When the snowball did hit the car there was two choices, a smart one and a dumb one. We picked the dumb one. This is where I made my first mistake by not voicing my opinion.

    		Why did I decide to follow along? I didn’t stop to think. Due to my involvement my life has been altered drastically.

    Since the incident I have experienced many different obstacles such as telling my family, the guilt of an unnecessary crime, attending court, financial obligations towards a lawyer, the stress and obligations bestowed upon my parents, and the humiliation of being labeled a criminal.

    The hardest lesson was attending the Community Conference and facing the victims along side their families. In spite of all my hardships, the physical and emotional pain of the victims and their families is far greater than I imagined. I was able to listen to what the victims endured as well as what the parents had to go through to insure the safety of their children in fear of reoccurrence. This resulted in sleepless nights and a long list of questions to be answered before letting their kids go out. This may seem like an

    		an intrusion but really it is the teens’ parents trying to keep their children safe and steer them away from potential danger. After being involved in the conference and hearing the impact, I have learned far more than any other experience in my life. Most importantly I have learned that what seems like a harmless action, can escalate into undesirable and unnecessary consequences. I have learned to accept responsibility for my actions and to think about what I do may not just affect me but others as well. I truly regret my actions that night and can only hope to be forgiven. My apology to the victims and their families will never be adequate for the pain and negative impact I have had on their lives. I hope others will learn from my mistakes. Don’t let others put you in situations where you don’t want to be. If you find you are in a bad situation, be strong enough to do the right thing.

    Stop and think of the consequences.

    Reflections on Community Conferencing Presentation by Terrie Teare
    Community Conferencing gives hope for a better approach when dealing with offences. Society is waking up to the realization that the traditional route of prison is not working.

    Community Conferencing is a proactive approach to crime and conflict, where individuals are given the opportunity to move through and beyond a particular incident with the hope that the impact results in growth and avoidance of similar situations in the future:

    I attended a presentation for church leaders put on by the Calgary Community Conferencing. I have been involved with prison ministry for several years and have often been discouraged by the traditional or usual way our society has of dealing with both offenders and victims. As I watched and listened to a young man who had stolen a vehicle and the woman whose vehicle was stolen, I found myself thinking “Yes– this makes so much sense”. I heard how the young person felt when he encountered his victim face to face– and I thought how it would be so much more difficult for an offender to actually have to look at his victim as opposed to facing a judge.

    		The offender shared his realizing all that the victim had lost it affected her income as her vehicle was integral to her business it affected her peace of mind. The victim shared her feelings about seeing the young person for the first time at conference– and she was struck with how young he seemed. She had expected something different but she was seeing a young boy. I heard as they shared their stories during the conference, they were able to see more of one another than victim and offender. People were seeing beyond labels and in seeing were able to understand one another.

    Conferencing demands a face to face meeting where responsibility and accountability and hearing the other’s story cannot be avoided.

    I left the presentation with a renewed feeling of hope and a thought that if this kind of work had been taking place over the years we might not have such a logjam of individuals at the other end of prison. I have hope that conferencing will help to reduce the number of youth who end up in our prison systems.

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